The pursuit of happiness

 The pursuit of happiness

Everyone desires to be happy. It is a desire deeply rooted in our nature, and if it is so, is because God himself put it in us. But where does happiness come from? Where to look for it?

Words similar to happiness are fulfilment, satisfaction, accomplishment. Think of how you felt the day of your graduation from college, after having struggled for four years and after all the fear of the day of the final exam. Think of how you felt the day of your first profession after one year of hard work and preparation. Surely your heart was full of joy and you could say: “I made it”.

Accomplishment comes from the fact that you achieved what was your big dream, your goal.

So, to be sure you will be happy you must start asking yourself: “What is the goal of my life?” What do I want to achieve?

Of course, the greater the goal, the greatest the joy.

Do you know what you want from your life? Do not make the mistake of putting as goals some adjectives: to be happy, to be rich, to be famous. Those are not goals, are descriptions; they do not exist alone, can easily appear and disappear. You need to focus on something consistent, enduring. So what do you want to achieve? Are you sure that is something big, strong, enduring, worth investing in it your life?

Too often we settle for temporary goals, we concentrate on passing ideals as a way to avoid dealing with the commitment of life. On one side we are not used to planning, we do not have the experience to understand what is achievable or what no, suitable or what no, but the lacking of experience should not discourage us from aiming high.

I want to visit a place or to move to a place: good! but then, after reaching there, what is next? I want to meet a person or to conquer a person: and then? I want to make a career, for example, to become a priest or a teacher or a doctor: but which kind of priest? What will be my style as a priest? Will it help me to be happy, deep inside, or just fill up my imagination?

Here are some components that can help us to set good goals for our life.

 

Dream. On several occasions, Pope Francis told young people like you to have the courage to dream. To dream is not something that happens at night while you sleep, here we speak of being able to listen to the deep desires of your heart, feel the good that would come from it, and have the hope that with your hard work, but especially with the grace of God it will become true. This process gives you strength, the courage to start, the desire to go ahead and boosts your self-esteem. The great Afro-American preacher Martin Luther King, when he launched the programs of national disobedience for the rights of black people in the United States did not say “I have a program”, he said: “I have a dream”, and from that dream, all started.

 

Prophecy. A dream is something that goes against triviality, against the standards set by society or tradition, but aims higher, wants to fly, not to crawl. That is the real meaning of the word prophecy. To be a prophet means to provoke people around you to look in different directions, consider different choices, choose different values. Maybe you always thought that prophets are those able to forecast events, read the future. That is the wrong information. John the Baptist was the greatest prophet because he spoke to the people about something present, visible to all but that no one could recognize. He was able to see the coming of the Savior and when he met Him he recognized Him because his eyes were open and free and not close by selfishness, fear, anger like those of his listeners. A prophet is somebody that lives what he preaches, a message that is demanding, outside the parameters of “normality”. A prophet dreams and lives his dream.

 

Courage. The first requirement posed by John the Baptist in order to receive the Lord was to convert, change lifestyle, become prophets. Nobody likes to change. Very few like to venture into the unknown. Very few like to endeavor to reach the highest places; most just adjust with the comfort of mediocrity.

In life nothing is easy, nothing comes for free (except God’s love). So the majority of people, in face of the difficulties do not even start the climb but settle down on the comfortable easy life of the plain. The Christian writer Hannah Hurnard wrote a book by the title “Hind’s feet on the high places” which became a classic of Christian literature. This is a book I suggest you all read. It is a journey of a lame girl called Miss Much-Afraid, who goes on a journey to the High Places, guided and kept safe by a shepherd. It is a journey of many lessons on trusting God/Jesus and accepting the trials of life as fuel for blessings, character building and faith-building. It is like a parable of our life and inner purification. The writer, at the age of 19 was about to commit suicide because she had lost every meaning of life. By chance, before taking the fatal step to kill herself, she opened the bible and understood how beautiful life could be with God, and from that moment she knew that her mission was to go around the world to speak about the “word of God”.

When you face a difficult choice, which way do you choose: the difficult one that brings you high or the easy one that brings you down?

 

Endurance. Once you set on the journey of life you meet thousands of obstacles. The first of them is the opposition of those around you. They find many ways to pull you down. This happens not because you are wrong, but because they are jealous of you and feel bad for not having the same courage you have. Another obstacle will be a sense of discouragement, doubts about your capacity to achieve the goal. Finally, there will always be the temptation represented by the easy life, the comfort, the desire for fast gratification. Endurance is the key to success but is not an easy virtue to achieve.

To a person who wanted to follow Him, Jesus said: "No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God." The path will always present struggles, but those will only strengthen us and make the final joy a greater one. We look at champions, heroes, martyrs as great people. They didn’t have an easy life but in front of the danger, they dared to face it and the endurance to go on till the end.

 

Consistency. The aim may be clear but every day there are choices to be made. They will be small ones but in the end, they influence the success. Consistency is the virtue which tells us if every choice goes according to the goal or is a deviation from it; if, on the long way, it will help us to get closer or will change into an obstacle. Normally, in the journey of life, there are no big and challenging choices. The biggest and most difficult one is the first, at the beginning of the journey. But there are plenty of small choices, and they too are important because it is very easy to fall into discouragement, boredom, temptations, loss of enthusiasm. Small compromises, sentences like: “only once”, “that’s a little thing”, “nobody will notice”, “tomorrow I will go back to be good”, defeat us from the inside, tell us unconsciously that we are no good, that we are no serious in our commitment, that we are not trustworthy people.

 

Trust. You are not alone. Other people are walking on your path, some are there who can help you; they have more experience, more wisdom, they can see the reality more clearly because they are less involved in your doubts. But to make use of these helps, you must learn how to trust people.

To trust means to believe that the other loves me and wants only what is best for me; he is after no personal gain and has no double intentions in what he is telling me.

We must have the courage to ask for help and guidance, but at the same time, we must be clever in whom to choose. We all need what we call a good Spiritual Director. Usually, we tend to speak about our personal problems and doubts only with our friends and companions. It is very good to have friends, but if I am dealing with a problem, a one which could affect my whole life, choosing a guide is not only a matter of friendship but of experience. If I have troubles with my car I do not go to a doctor, at the same way if the problem is in my stomach I do not go to a mechanic; If my computer is out of order I do not go to a farmer or if the problem is with my cows I do not go to a computer technician, though all of them are my good friends.

I need an expert, somebody who has seen many times situations like mine, somebody who can suggest good directions. A friend, especially a classmate, usually has no experience; he will have the tendency only to please you, comfort you, but will not know what the best direction to go to is. This often happens when one suddenly decides to leave his vocation, maybe because he is discouraged, or because he has fallen in love with a girl, or because he has done something wrong and now he is afraid. What can a friend suggest in those cases? Sometimes, after listening, he too may fall into crisis because of his lack of experience, and so now both vocations are at risk.  In those moments we need somebody who helps us to recall our original dream and refresh the reasons that brought us here.

Trust among people works only if we are open, sincere, willing to accept corrections. The worst enemy of trust is the fear of blame.  “What will he think of me?” is the worst sentence you can address to yourself.

Low self-esteem, fear of judgement, guilt feelings, are all very common situations in young people but are also the biggest cause of failure and abandonment among them. No healthy relationship can be built on them and we lose our inner freedom. They are also the biggest cause of sadness and anxiety.

In conclusion, we can say that:

·       Every life is a journey.

·       We do not know exactly the way and where it will lead us;

·       We must have a dream that tells us where we want to go;

·       Let us talk with somebody about our dream and set high goals;

·       To start the journey is the most difficult part and needs courage;

·       During the journey, we need endurance and consistency

·       In the whole process, we need also a good guide and the virtue of Hope